Problem Solving

Sunday November 6, 2011

It's my blog and I'll whine if I want to. The laptop that I run my life from flashed the 'blue screen of death' this morning. Four days into an overseas move. I use that computer heavily; from photo editing to drafting, Internet, and of course, blogging.  Having learnt from previous crashes, (most of) the work is thankfully backed up. Fortunately, I have dad's computer to use as a back up. Unfortunately, all the software discs are sitting in a container in the Port of Vancouver. Of all the eventualities I planned for, back up discs for a crashed computer wasn't one of them.  This is the third crash on the second computer.  I have pretty much decided that is it for me and Dell and Windows. Time for something new... it is the season for change, after all.

Just add it to the list.  Still attempting to get the final six weeks of medical records from dad's hospital stay at PA so we can get dad a doctor here.  You would not think it would be that complicated!?  Hospital said that they would be sent to the medical clinic.  Medical clinic said to call the hospital as they did not have the records yet, they were still being transcribed.  Another call to the hospital... and for some reason, it is not liking the overseas connection.  I do not get it.  We can talk to people overseas on video on computers, yet I cannot reach the hospital operator.  The message machine keeps booting me out and disconnecting.  "Goodbye.  GOODBYE."  I finally found a fax number (who uses a fax number but the government?", but then it ended up being the Canadian weekend.

At least it is sunny and warm.

On a brighter note, we had an extended family visit with dad in the afternoon.  It was a lovely afternoon, so we sat out on the deck for a relaxing visit.  I have not seen dad smile so much since he has moved here.  In fact, I had forgotten what his smile looks like. His face has changed with the disease... the muscles have changed his smile... so it is a bit disconcerting to see this new face.    He loves children and is happy to sit and watch them.  The kids were happy to serve us up coffees from the latte machine in the snack corner.  I remember visiting the elderly when I was little.... would have loved a latte machine diversion as well!  Probably be serving up lattes with a towel over my arm!

Two Steps Forward...

Saturday, November 5, 2011

One step back...

Bit of a setback today... dad was back in a wheelchair following yesterday's movements with the wheelie walker.  He had fallen twice... again... didn't break anything.  In his determination to get up and moving, he does not have the insight to realize his limitations.  Just wants to get a move on.  Not sure I entirely understand this determination to get moving... as when he was on his own at home, he spent hours sitting in his blue La-Z-Boy chair.  No doubt the whole experience from falling, to the hospital, to the plane trip to the new facilty has been very unsettling for him.  Unsettling for anyone, let alone someone living with Parkinson's disease.

I had to sign a form giving the go-ahead for him to be restrained in his chair.  It is for his own good, but not something you want to do.  They just cannot have eyes on him all the time, and he is so quick, he can bail out of his chair before anyone can get over to assist him.

Before when he was having falls, I panicked as the pressure was all on me to take care of him.  Plus I was worried we'd never get out of BC.  This time when I heard about the falls, I just laughed.  He is a monkey to keep on insisting that he is ok on his own.  I know he is in good hands now and I can breathe easy(ier).

One Eighty

Friday, November 4, 2011

The daily visit to the care home revealed dad on the tail end of 'exercise class'. Dad's physio wanted to talk to me and she was very excited! Following dad's assessment that morning, she felt confident that dad would not need a wheelchair, but will be able to get around with a wheelie walker.  Dad has made a complete one hundred and eighty degree turn from where he was at in getting off the airplane on Wednesday.  In short days he has come so far... who would have guessed it??

Just let me get his walker from the car then! (We had been driving it around in the trunk since bringing it over on the plane.... unsure of whether it would even get used.)

Well! Apparently dad's walker is quite flashy! Forget kicking the tires of a Cadillac; these days it is all about what you are pushing!

Morning tea was about to be served, so I sat down at the table for a visit.  Upon sight of the walker, dad was asking for a walk down the street! Maybe next week, once he gets his strength up.

Such great news though. His determination to get moving is paying off. Not that he'll be jumping into the surf at Bondi Beach any time soon... but encouraging nonetheless.

Settling In

Thursday, November 3, 2011

When I stopped by to see dad in the morning, he was sitting in the activities room, flipping through a newspaper.  I was so happy for him... all the things we take for granted in a day... and he wasn't able to do much of anything, sitting in the hospital in White Rock.  In respite care, there are all sorts of activities organized to keep their minds active... and so they don't fall asleep all day and party all night long!

The care aides and physio therapists were talking to me and asking about our story... why we moved to Australia,, etc.  Wanted to know my relationship status... when I told them I was single, they got excited and said that I'd be able to get a boyfriend (cuz it is as easy as going to the shops and ordering one!) ... and I thought to myself... oh, can I just stay with dad a while longer - might be easier!

As silly as this sounds, I am going to have to learn to let go of dad.  I've been a helicopter daughter for so long, I'm going to have to let go.  This is the first time in the whole experience where I've been given reverse reassurance.  Instead of me worrying about dad, the nursing staff is telling me not to worry about him, and that I have my own life to live.  I've known this all along, which is why we have made the move.  Still, I will need to let go a little and trust that dad is well cared for.  There is still a long way to go in getting him permanently settled, but a huge frantic weight has already been lifted.  Not entirely removed, as I'm still working on getting paperwork from Canada (another painful extraction)... but at least I do not have the painfully sick panic I had before when he was on his own, and then in hospital.

The Longest Day

A little dragon came to see us off...

Send off crew

The men in my life

Dad's respite care - Rose Bay

Front of dad's "holiday villa" - we're still trying to figure out how to get him on the back of the Vespa!! ;)

Halloween... October 31, 2011

It started out as a somewhat normal day... I crawled out of bed, all the while wondering when it would be that I would get to crawl into a bed again.  (44 hours later as it turned out.)  First up was the rubbish removalist for the final push of junk.  Then off to do some shopping, and tie up some odds and ends.  Back at my place, I started to panic.  There was still so much stuff to get rid of, and there was no time left to do it in.  Some stuff went to a friend moving into her own place, some more went to another friend to be redistributed to charities, still more was left at my place to be distributed to more charities.  Slowly the time ticked away, and there was still much to do.  Recalled I had more paperwork to sign (which was fortunate), final items to pick up at the hospital and a dad to reassure, final errands to run, a car to clean and sell.  By the time it came to the final packing stage, I was so overwrought and about in tears.  All throughout the day, I was telling myself I was crazy and that it was not too late.  Add to that, teary farewells to all of my friends, and I thought I was well and truly mad.  A lot of work and little reward in view at that point.

Still so much to pack, I ended up grabbing a fifth bag. (In a stroke of luck... I ended up having to pay for my bike box at the airport, so the fifth bag ended up being the fourth bag... and since we were allowed two each, all I ended up paying for was the bike box @ $50.  In another stroke of luck... our tickets had been purchased prior to Air Canada changing their luggage policy from two checked bags to one checked bag and each additional bag costing an additional $70.)  I just stuffed stuff into that bag.  Then sat on bags, zipped zippers, tossed the rest into the garbage and was ready to depart.  My then... I was 5 minutes over my estimated departure time.  Lucky.

Off we went... five pieces of luggage to be checked, two carry on bags, plus two smaller ones as is the allotment.  A quick detour to the bank machine, and it was off to jail-break dad from the hospital!  I arrived at 5N for the last time.  As soon as I saw dad waiting in his wheelchair at the nurses station, I promptly burst into tears.  It was all too much for me.  Was also filled with this sense of dread, realizing he was my sole responsibility... across the Pacific Ocean no less! A quick debrief on dad's care on the plane, and we were off again.  Down the long, dark freeway to the airport... a very odd feeling to say goodbye to the place we have called home for over thirty years.  I have traveled a lot and have been gone for months at a time (such a world traveler!), but have never lived anywhere else but the Semiahmoo Penninsula in the most south western corner of BC.  No more time to reminisce, as by then we were at the airport; all our luggage and VIP passenger needed some attention.

Kudos to Air Canada for their customer care.  We checked in (and all our bits and pieces) at the customer care counter.  Felt very much like VIP as we checked through the handicap security and had a helping hand to the gate and were first on with priority boarding.  Dad was moved from airport wheelchair to airplane wheelchair (which is narrow enough to fit down the narrow aisle of the plane), and then into his aisle seat (which was his home for the next 14 hours).

We had a goodbye crew out to say farewell... thanks to all for coming to see us off.  It was lovely to see everyone and took the edge off some of the emotion for me.  (A relief from the thoughts in your head when you are laughing with friends!)

Because I then got to be alone with my thoughts for the next 14 hours... wondering the whole way what on earth I had done... was I mad????

We were fortunate enough to be traveling on the same plane with some family friends.  They were further down the back of the plane, but stopped by our seats every once in a while for a chat.  Was reassuring both to dad and myself... maybe more so for me as dad declined over the course of the flight.  He started off really well, choosing his midnight meal and eating it on his own.  He commented several times on the length of the flight.  I commented to him that Loren made that flight twice last year alone to come see us.  (Yes Loren, we were really appreciating your efforts in those moments.)

Dad did well on the flight for the most part... though there was some confusion.  Can you blame him though... from hanging out at the hospital for six weeks with no stimulation, to stimulation overload on the plane.  I was feeling ill and anxious at various points, without the addition of a disease.  He barely slept till the end of the journey, when I could hardly wake him.  Say... just like the hospital where he slept all day and was awake all night!

Landing in Sydney, we flew south over Cronulla (Loren's old hometown), and then banked over the National Park and headed north to the airport.  I had a gorgeous view of the cliffs plunging down into the ocean, and at that moment I knew that I had made the right decision.  The plane touched down at Kingsford Smith shortly after that and all I could think was that we were home.

By the end of the flight, dad could barely move, he was that exhausted.  We got him off the plane... and had a lovely, patient airport crew who stayed with dad in the electric wheelchair until we got out to Loren's car in the parking lot.  Not before we offloaded all that luggage!  Had the bike checked in quarantine (am I ever glad I scrubbed the wheels clean of Canadian debris... my bike is now safely on Australian soil!), luggage checked for foodstuff... and off to meet the Australian welcoming crew!

After bundling dad and half the gear into Loren's vehicle, I jumped into the other vehicle and off we went in a convoy down the road to respite care in Rose Bay.  Loren had set up the care on this end (thank you, thank you, thank you) ... and they were expecting us.  Dad went straight out of the car, into bed where he promptly fell asleep.  Well, not before he thanked me so much for everything I had done to get him there.  In that moment, the angst, grief, preparation, hard work of the last weeks, months and years has all been worth it.

We have arrived and are very happy to be settling in.  Already, my stress has been cut in half.  We still have a lot to do to get dad permanently settled... but he is now in the system and they are kindly taking care of him.  More soon... I now get to go visit my father who is in a care home just down the road from my brother in Rose Bay... whoever would have thought it!?

Superfastpost

Have been awake for over 44 hours, so will make this brief.  Arrived safe and sound in Sydney after one very long 14 hour flight.  Poor dad... I don't think he realized how long the flight was going to be.  It certainly took everything out of him.  However, he is now resting comfortably in a respite care home... just 3km away from where I am staying with my brother.  So weird to think!  (That is the closest he has been to me in a long time!)  I need to get some sleep, and will write a proper update tomorrow... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Farewell

October 31, 2011

All being well, dad and I are on the midnight flight to Sydney tonight.  After all that blood, sweat and tears... we are finally down to the last hours in Canada, which hardly seems real.  Am sad to leave behind all our wonderful friends... it has been an emotional farewell.  Looking forward to seeing our friends and family in Sydney... and having a coffee under the shade of the jacaranda trees in Rose Bay.  Right now... I have a list a mile long of things to be done before we leave, so I had better get to it.  Watch this space... !!!!