donnawhaddayadoinforwork.com.au

Get ready for a rant... I have not written in a while, so it is backlogged in my brain... bear with me.

People have asked me if I'm settled in yet. I assume 'settled in' would mean job, accommodation, car. Nope. None of the above.  What does it mean in this life to be settled, anyway. I have learned that the only constant in life is change. No sooner than you have one thing figured out, and feel 'settled', than life changes and you have to adapt once again. For now, I will go where the breeze takes me.. and so far that makes me happy.

I am coming off a lovely, impromptu holiday.  It involved some house sitting and several spectacular beaches. I had been wanting a break for a long time... not having had one since I came to Sydney in Nov 2010. I feel rested, more like myself, and ready for what is next.

'Do you have a job yet?' The 'Howzyadad' question has been replaced by an alarming new question. (I am sure once I have appeased all interested parties by finding a job, the next question will be the other ole standby... 'Have you found a man yet?' As if I haven't dealt with enough shock in my life!). The 'yet' implying that I have been living the life of leisure for the past 3 years.

Whilst on a break... I received a call from dad's care home at 5.40pm on a Friday evening telling me that dad had a follow up appointment at the hospital Monday morning at 8am, and could I attend. One panicked call to my brother later, and he promised to take dad. Whew! (Thanks!)

Texts on Monday revealed that half the population in Sydney was at the hospital for an appointment. At which time I recalled one of the thousands of nuggets of info I had tucked away... don't book an appt on Monday or Tues if you can help it, as there is always a backlog after the weekend.  As I pointed out to my brother, those had been my days for the past three years. A minumum 2 hours every day dedicated solely to dad's care.

I can't even begin to tell you how much I needed space from the entire situation. I was teary all the time, tearing up at least once a day. Someone would tell me an semi-emotional story, I would well up and they wouldn't know where to look!  Reading back on blog posts, I can't believe the stress I was under. I certainly remember the panic I went through in the past year... my heart resided in my throat for much of it. My dear uncle commented to me, 'I don't know how you did it.' That makes two of us!!

I remember one time, riding my bike out and about, and having to pull off the side of the road to deal with a wave of despair.  I had no idea what to do with the situation... dad was living on his own, hallucinating... and I remember not being able to contact our case worker... who had mysteriously disappeared, 'on leave until next year'.  This was in June 2010.  So many of those moments... rarely a day passed without one.  My poor friends who constantly took panicked, weepy calls... at times having to step in to play my role momentarily as I regrouped for the next enslaught.  Things have improved 90%... but there's still so much to be done.

I am remembering why I put off moving to Sydney with dad as long as I did... I knew the amount of work involved. Like a wife who's husband comes home and asks her what she did all day (laundry, dusting, vacuuming, making lunches, taking the kids to school, grocery shopping, organizing wardrobes, gardening, garbage and recycling duty, banking, bill payments...) I feel the need to justify what I do with my time. Maybe some things should be private, but then again, I have always tried to be honest with what is going on. Here is a list of the work that needs to be done with dad.  I am sure I am missing things... there may be a revised list published in the future!
- Social visits.
- Liase with care workers on medication/physiotherapy/dads hobbies/eating habits/hygiene.
- Consult with doctor's on mood/fractures (if any)/Sinemet dosage.
- Banking: Canada - upkeep with outstanding bills in Canada due to property still there.
- Banking: Australia - open accounts and manage banking here.
- Pay medication bills.
- Consult with lawyer over legal docs.
- Purchase clothing (in this case shipping is a necessity; weight loss, and change in climate require new clothes)
- Have clothing altered.
- When the time comes - have to file taxes in Canada (which means garnering necessary info and sending it back to the accountant in Canada.)
- Following that - file taxes in Australia.
- Apartment is for sale - so there is that aspect to keep a track of.
- Wheelchair purchase/sell walker.
- Paperwork and financials for care home.  (Dad went into permanent care today... more on that in the next post!)
- This just in... another 'form' to be filled out... upon closer inspection this evening... the simple 'form' is in fact a 28 page document.  Good thing I like coffees... another afternoon in a cafe to fill the dumb thing out!

See... dad cannot communicate for himself, so he needs someone there to communicate for him... definitely on doctor's visits.  I am the one with the entire file in my head... I carry that info around at all times, ready to download at a moment's notice. Sometimes people end up with extra info... but oh well!

So, no, I do not have a job yet.  I am keeping pretty busy with dad, thank you very much!

Hopefully this doesn't come across as a whole pile of complaints heaped on top of one another. (When in fact, it is!) I am attempting to create awareness of what it is like to deal with a loved one who is suffering from a dehabilitating disease. One woman, who's brother-in-law is in the same care home with dad, who had the same haunted look in her eyes that I suspect is in my own said, 'Unless someone has gone through this themselves, they cannot begin to understand.'  Ahhhh... one soul in the world understands me.  ;)

Article on Parkinson's

I found this story through the Michael J Fox website.  A promising young baseball player who was diagnosed with early onset Parkinson's at the age of 22.  His story reminds me a bit of dad's... who hid his Parkinson's for so long that by the time he got to the doctor, the doctor was shocked at the progression of the disease.

An interesting read... with information on Parkinson's diease, along with some interesting observations on possible causes that I have not heard of before.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/eticket/story?page=120106/BenPetrick

On Hiatus

Howzyadad is on hiatus... finally!  Some much needed downtime and breathing space from the heart ache and panic of the last three years.  Not to worry... there are plenty of stories yet to come - albeit less frequently.  Dad seems to be settling in ok, and frankly... I need to get on with it!  For a change of scenery... check out my photo blog... link also in the right hand side bar.

The photos above are taken at Rose Bay... located at the end of dad's street.  He finally got to see it the other week when my brother wheeled him down there for a walk.  In the iPhone pic sent to me on the occasion... dad has the biggest smile on his face!  (On the previous day, dad had asked me something about our airline tickets.  I couldn't make sense of it, and asked if he was asking to go back to Canada.  "NO!"  Oh... alright then!  I then told him that we had booked one way tickets.  "Well, that's all right then," was the reply.  ((Yes, I have told him before about the one way tickets.  Some things just bear repeating 2 or more times!)) )

Hmmm... was I not meant to be on a break!?  Still some more books to finish!