So after the delay in posts... there are two back to back! I wanted to share this story as I am still amazed. I stopped in to see dad after his dinner tonight. At 6 o'clock, the residents had made themselves scarce! I can upon dad trying to escape from his chair. Haha... some things never change. I came up to him and asked if he was trying to make a run for it. The look on his face told me I was right!
We sat and "chatted" for a while. He asked if I had anything in my purse... haha. I remembered there were some chocolates in his room, so went back to grab them. I dumped them into my lap and if he didn't try to take a handful. Ah... that's where my sweet tooth comes from!
About this time I spotted the new portable basketball hoop in the amenity room. I thought it might be a fun diversion. I found a balloon and took it over to dad to try out. The balloon was a bit wimpy, so I went looking for something a bit more weighty. I spotted a ball decorated like a basketball that must have gone with the hoop. I gave it to dad, and he went to throw the ball in the basket. It bounced off the rim, and back at his face! At which point he caught it and threw it back again. It bounced off the rim and back at him; he caught it again. I bent in half in laughter, I couldn't believe what I was seeing! What's more, if he missed grabbing the ball, he gave it a boot with his foot!
I went to take the basket away, and sent him a bounce pass. He caught it and bounced passed it back. So we did this for quite a while before he decided he'd had enough and held on to the ball!
This is unreal for a couple of reasons... one... dad was never into sports and I hardly recall any of us tossing a ball with him on any given occasion. The other is that his brain has stopped talking to his feet... his balance is off and he hasn't walked in 18 months. I had no idea that his hand/eye coordination was so good. Though I have read stories where people with Parkinson's have been able to get on a bike and ride it with no problems. (Then they get off and can hardly walk.) The brain is a complex, complicated thing. I think if I was younger (and had the intelligence!), I would study neuroscience as I find it fascinating.
He's a little brat though... after we tossed the ball back and forth for a while, he started attempting fake throws, or as hard as he could. I think he enjoyed himself!
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Friday, March 1, 2013
Pinch and a Punch for the First of the Month
(Often dad would great us on a morning with that ditty above! I looked at the date just now and realized that it's officially March here in Australia.)
Sorry... it has been a while since the last post... you must be wondering how we are doing here. Very busy, that's for sure. Life has seemed to pick up the pace lately, and things are happening in double time. The big news is that yes, dad has a new daughter-in-law... my brother did get married three weeks ago today. (Friday.) A tiny wedding on a stunning Sydney day - sandwiched in between two very stormy weeks! I scaled back on my schooling... the fast track was too fast and I wasn't getting to see dad like I wanted to. A couple of things happened and I realized I need to be there a couple of times a week. If not just to connect with his carer's, and with dad of course; to maintain a presence, as it were.
Some of the best advice I received about dealing with dad's illness was about connecting with his spirit; the essence of who he is. We can no longer communicate effectively with him: he has problems with his speech and with following and staying with a conversation. It used to upset and frustrate me that I couldn't talk with him. I've found myself more and more adapting to this new way of interacting with him, and making peace with it.
Tuesday afternoon this week was lovely and warm with a cool breeze blowing. I'd arrived at the care home just as they were serving afternoon tea. I managed to squirrel away some treats and drinks, which we ate out on the upstairs balcony. We had each other in stitches with some private jokes. Both of us had tears rolling down our cheeks. The brain is such a strange thing, of which I am learning more about every day. How can dad not converse with me, even to discuss recent events, yet his sense of humor is as sharp as ever, if not sharper!
He was telling me he wanted to ride his motorbike into Sydney... but that he would need a helmet with hair. A helmet with hair? (An interesting look.) He corrected it to a helmet with padding. A friend explained that dementia can be likened to a filing cabinet where the contents are misfiled or missing. The brain goes searching for a word and can't find it... or perhaps it transposes a word... hair for padding. It makes sense, kind of. That's why conversing with dad is such a struggle.... it takes a while to translate!
Anyway, I am starting to find the visits with dad to be more peaceful. In the middle of a busy day, in the middle of a busy life it's nice to slow down for a minute and consider what really matters. What's the rush with life? We should be so lucky to end up in a nursing home one day... why rush to get to it? Why not slow down and appreciate what surrounds us in the present.
When I went to leave dad, he thanked me very much for coming. It indicated to me that the visit had somehow been extra special. I don't know who's spirits had been lifted more, his or mine.
So that's just a little update on how we've been. Will try to write another note sooner next time.
Sorry... it has been a while since the last post... you must be wondering how we are doing here. Very busy, that's for sure. Life has seemed to pick up the pace lately, and things are happening in double time. The big news is that yes, dad has a new daughter-in-law... my brother did get married three weeks ago today. (Friday.) A tiny wedding on a stunning Sydney day - sandwiched in between two very stormy weeks! I scaled back on my schooling... the fast track was too fast and I wasn't getting to see dad like I wanted to. A couple of things happened and I realized I need to be there a couple of times a week. If not just to connect with his carer's, and with dad of course; to maintain a presence, as it were.
Some of the best advice I received about dealing with dad's illness was about connecting with his spirit; the essence of who he is. We can no longer communicate effectively with him: he has problems with his speech and with following and staying with a conversation. It used to upset and frustrate me that I couldn't talk with him. I've found myself more and more adapting to this new way of interacting with him, and making peace with it.
Tuesday afternoon this week was lovely and warm with a cool breeze blowing. I'd arrived at the care home just as they were serving afternoon tea. I managed to squirrel away some treats and drinks, which we ate out on the upstairs balcony. We had each other in stitches with some private jokes. Both of us had tears rolling down our cheeks. The brain is such a strange thing, of which I am learning more about every day. How can dad not converse with me, even to discuss recent events, yet his sense of humor is as sharp as ever, if not sharper!
He was telling me he wanted to ride his motorbike into Sydney... but that he would need a helmet with hair. A helmet with hair? (An interesting look.) He corrected it to a helmet with padding. A friend explained that dementia can be likened to a filing cabinet where the contents are misfiled or missing. The brain goes searching for a word and can't find it... or perhaps it transposes a word... hair for padding. It makes sense, kind of. That's why conversing with dad is such a struggle.... it takes a while to translate!
Anyway, I am starting to find the visits with dad to be more peaceful. In the middle of a busy day, in the middle of a busy life it's nice to slow down for a minute and consider what really matters. What's the rush with life? We should be so lucky to end up in a nursing home one day... why rush to get to it? Why not slow down and appreciate what surrounds us in the present.
When I went to leave dad, he thanked me very much for coming. It indicated to me that the visit had somehow been extra special. I don't know who's spirits had been lifted more, his or mine.
So that's just a little update on how we've been. Will try to write another note sooner next time.
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