If you know me at all, you know I like to remember things, and reflect on how much time has passed. Basically, I succeed at making people feel old! I realized a couple of days ago, that it is 9 years ago this week that we moved out of our place on 18th ave. Can you believe it!? Time is passing too fast! Dad was diagnosed with Parkinson's the previous November. Mom said, Right, that's it... we need to downsize. House listed and sold in two months. And at that point, they didn't have a place to move to. Mom must have been slightly panicked, I realize now. She took it all in her stride though. When we walked into the showroom at Sussex House and discovered that a unit had opened up that morning, well, it was meant to be. Life always has a way of working out, it has proved time and time again. One would think I would learn to stop worrying!
I had been thinking (of course I had!), and then it was backed up by a chat with one of dad's therapists and my brother... that dad has seemed more settled and content recently. It has taken a long time for him to settle in; what with various falls, fractures, illnesses and medications all taking a toll on his disease and mental capabilities. He has bounced back a bit from that awful cold and antibiotics... they never agree with him. He still tries to escape from his chair, doesn't know what day/week/month/year it is, has pesky visions... but on the whole he is a lot more content.
When I went in to see him today, he was in his chair in his room. I stood back from the door and waited for him to notice me. Sure enough, he sensed someone there, turned around, and smiled when he saw me. (At least I think he did!)
I happened to catch a segment on dementia the other day, and the family members described their parents dementia just like dad's.... the patients remember their loved ones, but don't know what day/week/month/year it is or what they had for breakfast. They are easily distracted and cannot follow conversation. Their sense of humor is in tact, and you just have to enjoy the moments you get with them, as there are magical moments mixed up in what can be quite sad. Someone commented that with dementia, they lose their worry of day-to-day life... they don't need to worry or think about the future. I had not looked at it that way before; so I guess dad is blessed with something that I am not... freedom from worry!
I'm just so happy I have got more smiles out of him. Tonight he had soup as a starter at mealtime. I said to him, "What's that joke? Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? It looks like he's doing the backstroke." His face crinkled into a smile before I got to the punchline. He's making me laugh too... one day I asked if he needed anything, to which he replied, "Chocolates." Or another time he specifically requested Licorice All Sorts.
Tonight, he asked if we could go outside for a bit. When I asked why, he said that he felt it would do him some good! I was able to drag the unweildy water chair out onto the back veranda. Middle of winter and it was a balmy 16C! (In fact, it wasn't until I got home that I'd realized I left my winter coat in dad's room. Didn't even notice I was missing it!)
(Note: I have been slack in checking dad's emails... and my own, even. Some of you have very kindly sent us through some emails and thoughts. I have passed them on to dad, but failed to respond to you. Thank you again for thinking of us, and I will attempt to respond sooner rather than later.)
Friday, June 28, 2013
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Bright Spark
Sorry for the delay in updates... my life has jumped up and taken off on me... I cannot keep up! Dad is doing alright; it is taking him a while to recover from that cold he developed a while back. Still coughing and sputtering... but not sure if that is part of his disease or just plain genetics. (Cough, cough.)
Both my brother and I went to see dad today, but at different times. He went earlier and texted me a photo, to which I replied that dad looked content. He was sitting at the window, looking at the rain come down on the trees in the golf course across the street. My brother replied that he indeed was in good spirits today. He was still alert and responsive when I visited later on. It is very hard to have a conversation with him, and it is getting harder to understand what he is saying. Though he made himself very clear when I asked him how he was doing and if I could get him anything? "Chocolates," was the reply. Chocolates I can do!
Yesterday when I went to visit, he was sleeping in his chair. My thoughts went back to when mom and dad still lived in the big house and dad used to snooze in the chair Saturday afternoons. I often feel bad for dad that he can't run around and explore the countryside. Then again, that is something I like doing. Truth be told, he just liked to sit in his chair, relax and look out at the trees.
I was waiting for him to wake up, and when he stirred, I placed my hand on his arm. Without skipping a beat he said, "Who's that?"
To which I replied, "Who do you think?"
He had a small smile on his face. He is still a cheeky thing!
Weather is wind and rain here. Something like BC at the beginning of October. So coats, boots, mittens, hats and umbrellas are in order. Until the sun comes out, like it did on Friday, and you get caught out overdressed! Layering is the order of the day. And we don't have to think ahead about buying snow chains and shovels. In fact, in the newspaper today, there was a list of where to see all the spring flowers... only three short months from now! (Hmmm... dad isn't the only one with a bit of cheek!)
Both my brother and I went to see dad today, but at different times. He went earlier and texted me a photo, to which I replied that dad looked content. He was sitting at the window, looking at the rain come down on the trees in the golf course across the street. My brother replied that he indeed was in good spirits today. He was still alert and responsive when I visited later on. It is very hard to have a conversation with him, and it is getting harder to understand what he is saying. Though he made himself very clear when I asked him how he was doing and if I could get him anything? "Chocolates," was the reply. Chocolates I can do!
Yesterday when I went to visit, he was sleeping in his chair. My thoughts went back to when mom and dad still lived in the big house and dad used to snooze in the chair Saturday afternoons. I often feel bad for dad that he can't run around and explore the countryside. Then again, that is something I like doing. Truth be told, he just liked to sit in his chair, relax and look out at the trees.
I was waiting for him to wake up, and when he stirred, I placed my hand on his arm. Without skipping a beat he said, "Who's that?"
To which I replied, "Who do you think?"
He had a small smile on his face. He is still a cheeky thing!
Weather is wind and rain here. Something like BC at the beginning of October. So coats, boots, mittens, hats and umbrellas are in order. Until the sun comes out, like it did on Friday, and you get caught out overdressed! Layering is the order of the day. And we don't have to think ahead about buying snow chains and shovels. In fact, in the newspaper today, there was a list of where to see all the spring flowers... only three short months from now! (Hmmm... dad isn't the only one with a bit of cheek!)
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