Taking Care of Me

Selfie with mom and dad at Vancouver airport when they were both 66 and I was half their age!!

I have been delaying in posting this story as I cannot find the right words for this last blog post.   It is hard to wrap up the emotions of the past five and a half years in a few paragraphs; I keep typing words and deleting them.  However, I must publish this and move forward!  Just know that words are not enough...

Have been back in Sydney for almost two weeks now I think I am recovered from jet lag!  I had a wonderful visit back to Vancouver.  When I left Sydney, I was still reeling from the loss of dad, plus the mounds of paperwork that unfolded in the aftermath.  Visiting Vancouver/Victoria/White Rock was a whirlwind, but I managed to wrap up dad’s affairs, visit friends and found the time for a few naps!  There is no place like Vancouver in the summertime... long days extending past 10pm, sunlight dappling through the leaves, the soft sounds of birds (a touch more peaceful that squawking cockatoos!), summer fruit; particularly blueberries and cherries.   One thing I noticed about Vancouver this trip is that everyone loves a patio; whether it be Cactus Club, Milestones or the backyard!  Was great to catch up with everyone on various patios, including overlooking Victoria harbour, Vancouver harbour and even the parking lot at South Point!  I feel blessed by the love and care that was extended to me during my trip, turning what started out feeling like a business trip to a magical interlude.

While visiting my old hometown, I had noticed that the question had changed from “How’s your dad?” to “What are your plans?”  There is nothing very dramatic in the works, I’m afraid!  I plan to finish school, work and travel!  I think (hope!) all the drama is behind me!

Parallel to losing mom and taking care of dad, I realised my post secondary drafting education had reached its maximum potential.  I needed to continue my education, which is what I had planned when I finished my drafting diploma back in the day, but easier said than done.  One of the reasons for moving to Sydney (besides moving dad moving to see his family) was for its design and arts culture.  I briefly considered New York  or Toronto (like I said, briefly!), but Sydney made the most sense because of my citizenship.  Prior to leaving BC, I had researched interior design courses, but nothing eventuated.  Once in Sydney, with dad settled, it worked out for me to take an introductory colour course.  That led to a fast-paced bridging course over Christmas 2012 and into a styling course last year. The opportunity arose to study interior design this year, and with dad not being well and needing to be close to him, I made the decision to continue studying.  (Only three months to go, not that I have started the countdown or anything!  I love learning, but it means that life gets put on the back burner while you work on assignments.)

I had no idea this new career path would allow me to carry special memories of both mom and dad. In the middle of my styling course last year, we were studying soft furnishings and furniture placement.  It reminded me of how mom made a home for us.  Oftentimes we would come home to from school to find the vacuum tossed out across the floor and mom moving furniture around.  She spoiled us with ironed sheets (“They stack better in the cupboard”, was her reasoning when we teased her about it.) and perfectly folded towels.   (While I do not exactly iron my sheets, I will say that it is a simple luxury to have ironed pillowcases!) Memories of dad, too, came flooding back.  I recall sitting in his work truck; the scent of metal, sawdust and oil in the air; drinking the grounds of Thermos coffee (Disgusting!  But if dad drank it, then it must be cool!) and flipping through the fan deck of paint chips.  The interior of our house on Summerhill Crescent was painted entirely in Banana Split.  Hey, it was the 80s, after all!  I am thankful for what they taught me about  attention to detail and taking pride in your work.

A heartfelt thank you to all for following along with our story; for your support and compassion.  May we continue to remember those who struggle with Parkinson's, and other crippling illnesses and diseases.  Most of all, thank you to mom and dad for the love and care they blessed us children with; we continue to feel their influence in our lives.

If you would like to stay in touch, my email is donnavercoe1@gmail.com and most days you can find me on Instagram: donnavercoe

Sincerely,

Donna

Taking Care of Business

Sussex House... mom and dad's last apartment.  (Side note: the Vercoe name ventures back to Sussex, England)

Where does the time go?!  I cannot believe it is three months this week since dad passed away.  I've been back in Vancouver/White Rock, taking care of dad's affairs. Catching up with friends, it feels like no time has passed... but in fact it has been 2 1/2 years since we left. 'It seems like it was yesterday,' has been the refrain this whole trip. Another reminder to not put off till tomorrow, what you can do today.

I took a stroll through White Rock last week, and didn't realise till I was on the move that I was walking past all the old hang outs with dad.  The hospital where he spent the last 6 weeks before we moved, the emergency room where we spent many long hours for various ailments, the store where we picked out his walker (joking that it wasn't quite as much fun as picking out a car), the notary public's office; where I signed the paperwork for the power of attorney and estate executor that got me into this position in the first place! There was the rolling sidewalk down the hill to his front door, where I constantly reminded him to take it slow, as his gait threatened to take over and he'd have a spill. (Which did eventuate, hence one of the trips to the emergency room for a busted nose.). So many memories.... plus the memories of mom. The garden out the front of their place is somewhat overgrown now. Mom would have had a say in tending to those plants.

With these sad reminders of all that dad suffered with in those last years, though I miss his smile and wave, I am thankful he no longer has to struggle with that disease. We laid dad to rest last week with mom, and it is a comfort to know they are together again.