Another Wipeout

If you don't laugh, you'll cry. That has been our mantra throughout this entire experience. On Wednesday, I was back to that weepy feeling again.

Parkinson's is just an horrible, hideous disease. I really dislike it. My heart is breaking a little once again. I went in to see dad on Wednesday afternoon. As soon as I arrived, there was the, 'Oh, your dad...' again. Turns out he had climbed out of bed after his afternoon nap once again. Climbed out, walked out into the hallway and fell. Landed on his side; on his ribs. He seems ok... ribs sore but not broken and his left hand was scratched up. He was a bit shaken up, and rather confused. Nothing he said made any sense. He keeps forgetting that his body won't let him walk. He thinks he is being held there against his will. I was trying to reassure him that he wasn't being kept against his will. We all would love for him to be doing his own thing. However, his body will no longer let him do the things he wants to do. Therefore to keep him safe, safety precautions have been taken. I reminded him once again; it is illegal in Australia to hold someone against their will. I was rewarded with 'a look'.

Throughout all this, I was unable to comfort him. It was dinner time and thinking that food would help, I encouraged him to eat. He didn't want to eat, and my presence seemed to agitate him. In fact, he only drank his juice when I got up and walked over to talk to a nurse. He wouldn't eat his dinner while I was sitting there, so I thought maybe I should leave him in the care of the nurses for the time being.

I was somewhat upset myself... so figured I would remove myself from the situation before I made it worse. The nurses are trained to assist in that situation. Of course, as soon as I left, the guilt set in. Why didn't I stay and just reassure him and show him some love? So ends another day on the Parkinson's roller coaster.