Poor dad. Though I am being very gracious compared to my attitude earlier today. I had a phone call this morning saying that the results of dad's X-ray had come back, that he had a fracture and he was being sent to St Vincent's hospital. Say what!? Wasn't I told the other day that the x-ray had come back clear?! Not sure what happened there. (But will be following up on it.)
So... back to St Vincent's ER for the two of us. Dad had been admitted and X-rayed by the time I arrived. As in ER’s, we waited and waited... dad getting more and more restless as they couldn’t give him his medication, food or water until they had the results of the X-rays back as they did not know if they would have to do surgery or not. I grew increasingly restless as well, not at all aided by the construction going on in the room next door. I’m telling you, it follows me around!
Finally... a couple of hours later, we had our results. Dad had a pubic rami fracture. From what I understand, it’s the edge of the pubic bone at the front that had fractured in the fall last Saturday. X-ray shows it as already starting to heal. That’s all that can be done with this fracture... time, physio and some pain relief to deal with the pain. Dad had been recuperating well at the care home already, so the decision was made to send him back there rather than admit him to hospital; which could be unsettling for him.
I was going to get a ride back to the care home in the ambulance so I could ride with dad and reassure him... and ok, to sound the siren! Alas, someone else was riding in there as well... so I was relegated to the ole bus in the rain!
Sometimes I feel like I’m making this stuff up... but you just cannot dream this up! At least we can sleep in our own beds at the end of a long day. Speaking of beds, that is exactly where I am headed... the dishes can wait!
Friday, August 31, 2012
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
If I Had a Dollar...
**UPDATE BELOW** (It's all OK...)
... for every time I've received a phone call, "Your dad has had a fall.'"... well, I would have a very nice pair of shoes!
Sunday morning: Voicemail: "Your had a fall in the dining room on Sat night! He'd bumped his noggin (medical term!) but was otherwise OK."
I was going to stop in and see him on Sunday anyway, and made the decision to sit with him a while in case he needed reassurance.
If I didn't walk into his room and find him escaping out of his bed after his afternoon nap! (Seems we are working on the second pair of shoes!)
"Dad! Stop! Wait till I call a nurse. You just had a fall yesterday."
"Yeah, but that was yesterday."
Right.
Someone came to help him into his chair. Straightened his clothes up, put his shoes on and I wheeled him into the activity room to sit in the sun and "chat" for a while.
Tuesday afternoon: The care home is just down the street from the grocery store, so I often pop in to say hi to dad on my way there. I stopped by Tuesday afternoon, to find dad with three women standing over him! Moment of panic before I realized they were just getting him out of bed, and someone was applying his patch. He didn't look so great, but I was relieved to find out he hadn't bailed over again...
... I went out to the nurses station to talk to them about a surprise Father's Day treat. It was there that I learned that dad had been complaining of pain in his hip, and the doctor had ordered an X-ray by the mobile unit for that day. We wheeled a groggy dad down to the dining area, and I sat in the nook with him and tried to get a read on how he was feeling. I commented that he put his shoes on on Sunday; as he was not wincing in pain to put them on like he did the time he broke his hip. Hopefully it's just bruising and nothing is broken!
I'm afraid I slipped back into old feelings of despair and I think it may have rubbed off on him. It was just about dinner and I took him in to his table. Now I don't know how to explain this and maintain some of his dignity... but let's see if I can try. (Dad's actions in a confused state has happened before with me, but not for a while. I had forgotten how it can be.) With dementia, patients need to be kept hydrated. Also, with the fall, there was some additional confusion. This means that dad is not himself, and can be very stubborn. He let loose with his cutlery like he was back on the job site... the knife came down on the fork with an almighty THWACK! and scared the liver out of everyone in the room! When I asked for the cutlery so he wouldn't do it again, he refused. And so it went. He got upset, I got upset. I wanted to help with his meal since he wasn't himself; he wouldn't let me. In the end I decided to walk away as we were not doing each other any favors. Something I couldn't do in the old days.
(On a positive note... dad's dinner companion thought I was still in high school! I told him that had been a few years ago now!)
Tuesday evening: Called the home to see how dad's evening went. He improved after I left, which isn't saying much for me! He needed food and something to drink... and he wasn't going to eat it while I was there! So now it's back to playing the waiting game on the X-ray results to see if he will have to pay another visit to the hospital or not.
Wednesday morning: A call in to the care home has revealed that the X-ray results aren't back yet. He had been in the dining room for breakfast and had eaten well... always a good sign! So we wait some more. I am going to post this now... but will update as soon as I know the results.
Wednesday late afternoon: Stopped in to see dad on my way home and found out his X-ray was all clear. He must just have some bruising. So crisis averted! Here's hoping he heals soon, and no more dramas for a while. I have a Father's Day surprise he doesn't want to miss! (Aussie Father's Day here this coming Sunday.) And no, it's not Old Spice!
... for every time I've received a phone call, "Your dad has had a fall.'"... well, I would have a very nice pair of shoes!
Sunday morning: Voicemail: "Your had a fall in the dining room on Sat night! He'd bumped his noggin (medical term!) but was otherwise OK."
I was going to stop in and see him on Sunday anyway, and made the decision to sit with him a while in case he needed reassurance.
If I didn't walk into his room and find him escaping out of his bed after his afternoon nap! (Seems we are working on the second pair of shoes!)
"Dad! Stop! Wait till I call a nurse. You just had a fall yesterday."
"Yeah, but that was yesterday."
Right.
Someone came to help him into his chair. Straightened his clothes up, put his shoes on and I wheeled him into the activity room to sit in the sun and "chat" for a while.
Tuesday afternoon: The care home is just down the street from the grocery store, so I often pop in to say hi to dad on my way there. I stopped by Tuesday afternoon, to find dad with three women standing over him! Moment of panic before I realized they were just getting him out of bed, and someone was applying his patch. He didn't look so great, but I was relieved to find out he hadn't bailed over again...
... I went out to the nurses station to talk to them about a surprise Father's Day treat. It was there that I learned that dad had been complaining of pain in his hip, and the doctor had ordered an X-ray by the mobile unit for that day. We wheeled a groggy dad down to the dining area, and I sat in the nook with him and tried to get a read on how he was feeling. I commented that he put his shoes on on Sunday; as he was not wincing in pain to put them on like he did the time he broke his hip. Hopefully it's just bruising and nothing is broken!
I'm afraid I slipped back into old feelings of despair and I think it may have rubbed off on him. It was just about dinner and I took him in to his table. Now I don't know how to explain this and maintain some of his dignity... but let's see if I can try. (Dad's actions in a confused state has happened before with me, but not for a while. I had forgotten how it can be.) With dementia, patients need to be kept hydrated. Also, with the fall, there was some additional confusion. This means that dad is not himself, and can be very stubborn. He let loose with his cutlery like he was back on the job site... the knife came down on the fork with an almighty THWACK! and scared the liver out of everyone in the room! When I asked for the cutlery so he wouldn't do it again, he refused. And so it went. He got upset, I got upset. I wanted to help with his meal since he wasn't himself; he wouldn't let me. In the end I decided to walk away as we were not doing each other any favors. Something I couldn't do in the old days.
(On a positive note... dad's dinner companion thought I was still in high school! I told him that had been a few years ago now!)
Tuesday evening: Called the home to see how dad's evening went. He improved after I left, which isn't saying much for me! He needed food and something to drink... and he wasn't going to eat it while I was there! So now it's back to playing the waiting game on the X-ray results to see if he will have to pay another visit to the hospital or not.
Wednesday morning: A call in to the care home has revealed that the X-ray results aren't back yet. He had been in the dining room for breakfast and had eaten well... always a good sign! So we wait some more. I am going to post this now... but will update as soon as I know the results.
Wednesday late afternoon: Stopped in to see dad on my way home and found out his X-ray was all clear. He must just have some bruising. So crisis averted! Here's hoping he heals soon, and no more dramas for a while. I have a Father's Day surprise he doesn't want to miss! (Aussie Father's Day here this coming Sunday.) And no, it's not Old Spice!
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Pleased With Himself
When I arrived at the home to see dad today, he was sound asleep! I was filled in by the care aides that he had been up all morning; walking and participating in activities. He had been sitting next to one of the aides during the crossword activity, and it was relayed back to me, "Your dad, he is an intelligent man." Oh yes, that's my dad! I waited for dad to wake up, and it wasn't until I started to write him a note, and turned around to check on him that he woke up. He was looking at me with one eye open. "Hi." Hi. We got him up then, and he was keen to walk! His walker was wheeled around in front of him, and if we didn't walk down to the end of the hall and back to the activities room! With Parkinson's, he has problems with scissor steps... crossing his feet over one another. However... I cannot believe the determination, considering it is coming up to a year ago that he had that final fall that took him off his feet for good. I looked over at him while he was walking, and he had a little grin on his face. Aw!
I had visited in the morning last week, as there was a food meeting that I wanted to sit in on. Dad was sitting out in the garden with some of the other residents, some papers were on hand but I'm not sure dad was reading them! Anyway, they commented to me that he likes to sit in the sun. Oh yes, that's one of the reasons why we moved here! I was reminded of funny stories of mom and dad... they liked to go to White Rock beach and sit in the car in the sunshine... usually it was too breezy and windy on the beach to really enjoy it! Last summer when I took dad down there for fish and chips on Canada Day; we got back to the car and it was nice and toasty in the black Honda. Dad said to me, "Oooo... can we just sit here for a few minutes?" Um. Sure. Uh oh... you know you're old when!
Seeing dad sitting in the sun, enjoying the heat on his back reminds me that we do need to stop and enjoy the simple things in life. There is much to take pleasure in, and maybe it's only when we slow down and stop that we can appreciate the small things.
All is well in Rose Bay for the time being... thanks for reading! Donna
I had visited in the morning last week, as there was a food meeting that I wanted to sit in on. Dad was sitting out in the garden with some of the other residents, some papers were on hand but I'm not sure dad was reading them! Anyway, they commented to me that he likes to sit in the sun. Oh yes, that's one of the reasons why we moved here! I was reminded of funny stories of mom and dad... they liked to go to White Rock beach and sit in the car in the sunshine... usually it was too breezy and windy on the beach to really enjoy it! Last summer when I took dad down there for fish and chips on Canada Day; we got back to the car and it was nice and toasty in the black Honda. Dad said to me, "Oooo... can we just sit here for a few minutes?" Um. Sure. Uh oh... you know you're old when!
Seeing dad sitting in the sun, enjoying the heat on his back reminds me that we do need to stop and enjoy the simple things in life. There is much to take pleasure in, and maybe it's only when we slow down and stop that we can appreciate the small things.
All is well in Rose Bay for the time being... thanks for reading! Donna
Monday, August 13, 2012
A Busy Week
The busy week that was. There was no less than three afternoon appointments with dad last week, plus we bid adieu to my brother who is off on his second motorbike tour... this time he is touring around North America. Busy to say the least.
Friday was one of those "bottom fell out of the wet paper bag" days. The weather was not much help... I had to walk up and back to dad's place in gale force winds and rain. We had a routine appointment with the neurologist... but it seemed to take forever to get up to the clinic and back. Everything else that could go wrong did go wrong. In the end, we were fine... but I just had flashbacks to all those days on end of taking care of dad. The good news was, he is responding well to the Excelon patch... you will find the original story from April here. The patch is used in Alzheimer/dementia cases to improve the memory. Dad scored three points higher on the memory test this time than back in April. This is quite significant as I believe the test is out of 30 and the scores have been in sharp decline since I started taking him to the elder health doctor in Canada all those years ago. (At least that is what it feels like.) That was a bright spot in an otherwise dull day.
I went to my first bi-monthly relative meeting at the home last week. It has been my first chance to attend, as there seemed to be too much going on before. The purpose of the meeting is to update family on new procedures, events, staff changes, and and other issues that might have come up. I was reminded that I am not the only person with a family member suffering from Parkinson's and/or dementia... but I am certainly the youngest! Was also reminded that while dad's health has declined, at least he is still able to feed himself, communicate some things, and participate in activities. Some people have loved ones in care who need to be fed; who just lie in their bed all day. I have been asked, what else do you have to do for your dad now that he is in a care home. Well, I need to communicate for him since he cannot communicate for himself. I have watched him looking to me to answer the questions he is asked. I need to attend relatives meetings in order to stay abreast of things that are going on. I need to have regular visits with dad so I can gauge where he is at. I need to meet with care workers at intervals in order to assess dad's care needs and any changes that may arise. I have to take him to specialist appointments. (And I still haven't got him new glasses... his current ones are horribly scratched and I feel guilty every time I look at them!) Words of a friend whose mother was in a nursing home keep coming back to me... she told me that the worry and responsibility does not end once they are in a home... she never stopped being concerned about her mother. Yes, we are still adapting to this new direction in life. Still haven't quite figured it all out.
On top of all this, the pressure on me - from myself included - to get myself figured out. To be honest... my life feels like a bit of a train wreck at the moment. Surveying the damage done, I am wondering where to start picking up the pieces. In the time I have been taking care of dad, technology has moved on and I have not been able to keep up. My skills and qualifications suddenly seem quite outdated. I am learning though, that only we ourselves can do what is best for our situation. No matter where we are at in life, I am sure we have all found that advice and comments can be exhausting. It is a matter of understanding how to do what is best for ourselves, and tuning out the noise. There is much talk about a work/life balance. I will have to balance work and life with dad... hopefully I will figure it out one day. Soon.
Friday was one of those "bottom fell out of the wet paper bag" days. The weather was not much help... I had to walk up and back to dad's place in gale force winds and rain. We had a routine appointment with the neurologist... but it seemed to take forever to get up to the clinic and back. Everything else that could go wrong did go wrong. In the end, we were fine... but I just had flashbacks to all those days on end of taking care of dad. The good news was, he is responding well to the Excelon patch... you will find the original story from April here. The patch is used in Alzheimer/dementia cases to improve the memory. Dad scored three points higher on the memory test this time than back in April. This is quite significant as I believe the test is out of 30 and the scores have been in sharp decline since I started taking him to the elder health doctor in Canada all those years ago. (At least that is what it feels like.) That was a bright spot in an otherwise dull day.
I went to my first bi-monthly relative meeting at the home last week. It has been my first chance to attend, as there seemed to be too much going on before. The purpose of the meeting is to update family on new procedures, events, staff changes, and and other issues that might have come up. I was reminded that I am not the only person with a family member suffering from Parkinson's and/or dementia... but I am certainly the youngest! Was also reminded that while dad's health has declined, at least he is still able to feed himself, communicate some things, and participate in activities. Some people have loved ones in care who need to be fed; who just lie in their bed all day. I have been asked, what else do you have to do for your dad now that he is in a care home. Well, I need to communicate for him since he cannot communicate for himself. I have watched him looking to me to answer the questions he is asked. I need to attend relatives meetings in order to stay abreast of things that are going on. I need to have regular visits with dad so I can gauge where he is at. I need to meet with care workers at intervals in order to assess dad's care needs and any changes that may arise. I have to take him to specialist appointments. (And I still haven't got him new glasses... his current ones are horribly scratched and I feel guilty every time I look at them!) Words of a friend whose mother was in a nursing home keep coming back to me... she told me that the worry and responsibility does not end once they are in a home... she never stopped being concerned about her mother. Yes, we are still adapting to this new direction in life. Still haven't quite figured it all out.
On top of all this, the pressure on me - from myself included - to get myself figured out. To be honest... my life feels like a bit of a train wreck at the moment. Surveying the damage done, I am wondering where to start picking up the pieces. In the time I have been taking care of dad, technology has moved on and I have not been able to keep up. My skills and qualifications suddenly seem quite outdated. I am learning though, that only we ourselves can do what is best for our situation. No matter where we are at in life, I am sure we have all found that advice and comments can be exhausting. It is a matter of understanding how to do what is best for ourselves, and tuning out the noise. There is much talk about a work/life balance. I will have to balance work and life with dad... hopefully I will figure it out one day. Soon.
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