The busy week that was. There was no less than three afternoon appointments with dad last week, plus we bid adieu to my brother who is off on his second motorbike tour... this time he is touring around North America. Busy to say the least.
Friday was one of those "bottom fell out of the wet paper bag" days. The weather was not much help... I had to walk up and back to dad's place in gale force winds and rain. We had a routine appointment with the neurologist... but it seemed to take forever to get up to the clinic and back. Everything else that could go wrong did go wrong. In the end, we were fine... but I just had flashbacks to all those days on end of taking care of dad. The good news was, he is responding well to the Excelon patch... you will find the original story from April here. The patch is used in Alzheimer/dementia cases to improve the memory. Dad scored three points higher on the memory test this time than back in April. This is quite significant as I believe the test is out of 30 and the scores have been in sharp decline since I started taking him to the elder health doctor in Canada all those years ago. (At least that is what it feels like.) That was a bright spot in an otherwise dull day.
I went to my first bi-monthly relative meeting at the home last week. It has been my first chance to attend, as there seemed to be too much going on before. The purpose of the meeting is to update family on new procedures, events, staff changes, and and other issues that might have come up. I was reminded that I am not the only person with a family member suffering from Parkinson's and/or dementia... but I am certainly the youngest! Was also reminded that while dad's health has declined, at least he is still able to feed himself, communicate some things, and participate in activities. Some people have loved ones in care who need to be fed; who just lie in their bed all day. I have been asked, what else do you have to do for your dad now that he is in a care home. Well, I need to communicate for him since he cannot communicate for himself. I have watched him looking to me to answer the questions he is asked. I need to attend relatives meetings in order to stay abreast of things that are going on. I need to have regular visits with dad so I can gauge where he is at. I need to meet with care workers at intervals in order to assess dad's care needs and any changes that may arise. I have to take him to specialist appointments. (And I still haven't got him new glasses... his current ones are horribly scratched and I feel guilty every time I look at them!) Words of a friend whose mother was in a nursing home keep coming back to me... she told me that the worry and responsibility does not end once they are in a home... she never stopped being concerned about her mother. Yes, we are still adapting to this new direction in life. Still haven't quite figured it all out.
On top of all this, the pressure on me - from myself included - to get myself figured out. To be honest... my life feels like a bit of a train wreck at the moment. Surveying the damage done, I am wondering where to start picking up the pieces. In the time I have been taking care of dad, technology has moved on and I have not been able to keep up. My skills and qualifications suddenly seem quite outdated. I am learning though, that only we ourselves can do what is best for our situation. No matter where we are at in life, I am sure we have all found that advice and comments can be exhausting. It is a matter of understanding how to do what is best for ourselves, and tuning out the noise. There is much talk about a work/life balance. I will have to balance work and life with dad... hopefully I will figure it out one day. Soon.
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