I cannot believe this is the last day of 2012. Where has the year gone? A fair bit has gone on this year... got dad settled into a care home, sold his place in Canada, got our Canadian affairs in order and opened up our Australian affairs, and I have gone back to get more schooling. Hmmm... I guess things have been accomplished!
I have even caught myself making resolutions... when previously, my only resolve was not to make resolutions. I have found myself looking forward to 2013 as a blank slate. From 2009 on, I faced each year with trepidation. I know that sounds negative, and the optimists out there would reel in horror. That first year we were grappling with losing mom, and had her affairs to settle. Then there was the issue of dad's Parkinson's disease and the unknown. In September 2009 was when we first noticed dad's dementia, though at the time we associated it with the medication and not the disease. (Denial, it's not just a river in Egypt!) With the steady decline of the Parkinson's, it always felt like I was trying to duct tape back the bottom of a wet paper bag. Last year,.. even with dad in care, there was still the care home to finalize, house in Canada to be sold, and other things to tie up. This is the first time in a long time that I am not filled with dread for the coming year.
I have just finished an excellent book called Adapt: Why Success Always Starts With Failure by Tim Harford. He writes that accidents happen and that contingency plans would help. When the bottom fell out of the Lehman Brothers bank, they didn't have a contingency plan. Over four years ago, I remember saying to mom for one reason or another... 'Nothing better happen to you, and I'm left with dad... could you imagine?' Can you imagine. There was no contingency plan, because we didn't want to think the unthinkable. A contingency plan is a course of action to follow when things don't follow the expected path. I cannot help but think that if we sat down following dad's diagnose with Parkinson's disease, and discussed future possibilities... then each of us wouldn't have felt so alone in our situation. (De Nile, it IS just a river in Egypt.)
Well, you cannot go back and change the past, but you can learn from it. While we may not have spoken about many things, we did touch on a few; one time I saw mom struggling to open a jar with her arthritic hands. I wondered aloud if it was my destiny to look after my parents. Mom very emphatically told me that no parent wants that for their child. Two things I did know was that dad did not want to end up in a scary care home, and that my parents wanted me to live my own life and follow my dreams. In the end, I think we got there!
As for "How's your dad" this week... I have been away on a bit of a break, but my brother went in to visit him yesterday. Now for all of you who know my brother(s) know that he (they) have a bit of a seal bark for a cough. My brother was explaining it to dad, and dad said that it sounded like bronchitis. My brother said he could have saved himself a trip to the doctor! Father knows best.
A special thank you to everyone for following this blog; for your messages of love and support throughout the year. May you have the wheels set in motion for 2013 to be a great year, and a contingency plan to carry you through in case life happens. Because life always happens! Love from Donna and Company...
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