SOLD!

The apartment in White Rock is well and truly sold! The new owner took possession last week. After wondering if it was ever going to sell, and having the requisite 'get your hopes up moments', it finally sold. Lots of smoke and finally a fire. After months of trying to sell it, in the end, the closing date happened pretty quickly.  It feels a bit strange for it to be gone. There were lots of happy memories, but in the later years, many more sad memories.  It's sad to say goodbye, but we must keep moving forward in this journey, whatever that may be. A big thank you to our real estate agent and his team for their tireless efforts in selling the place... from showings, to email updates, to phone calls... we really could not have done it without you!

However, the drama doesn't end there. In a another twist, 25% of the proceeds of the sale have been held back by the Canadian government until we issue the necessary documentation deeming the residence to be dad's primary residence. Dad is now a non-resident, hence the government stepping in for a piece of the action. (Not sure there was anyway around this... was not able to sell dad's place while he was living in it for obvious reasons.) We were put on to a tax accountant specializing in foreign clients. I emailed him the necessary paperwork to get the ball rolling. What did I get in return? An automated response saying that he was away on his annual two week holiday. No mention to me that he would be out of town for two whole weeks. While dad's nursing home waits for the bond money, racking up hundreds of dollars in interest as we wait. Well, what was I expecting... everything wrapped up neat and tidy and topped with a bow!?

In addition to my infinite medical knowledge, property expertise and financial planning, I can now add international banking to my 'Skills-I-Never-Knew-I-Would-Acquire' list. I am on first name basis with bank officers in two countries, and am learning the ins and outs of swift codes and foreign exchange rates. Needless to say, it's a bit of a worry, transferring multiple amounts of money overseas.  I will be glad when it is complete.

On the dad side of things; he seems to have recovered from his chest infection.  So glad he is under medical supervision... while it is a worry, at least it's not the "I can't breathe, I'm so so worried and am about to have another panic attack" worry of the past.  Must mean we have made some progress!  One thing dad hasn't lost is his sense of humor!  Always when dad got a hair cut, we would remark about him having a hair cut... and he would always say, "Yes, the hair just over my left ear."  Oh, hahaha.  Last week I noticed that he had a haircut, so repeated his joke to him.  He had a big smile on his face.  I took it one further and said, "You've had your ears lowered."  Oh dear, we laughed. ;)

I will leave you with a quote I came across this past week ;)  I think someone wrote it with me in mind ... Don't let the sadness of the past, or the fear of the future, rob the happiness of the present.

I Am Exhausted

I'm exhausted.

As in, drop to my knees, slump over on my face, exhausted. I know I am sometimes onsidered a drama queen. But caring for a sick relative for 3 1/2 years will make you slightly batty. This is why we take it a day at a time ... if someone had told me 3 1/2 years ago this would still be going on, I would have bolted. Because that solves every problem. 

I was so excited to have filed our Canadian taxes as of Apr 30. It had been ongoing for over two months... starting with the arrival of our shipment and sorting through file boxes for paperwork for the 2011 taxes. (There was no room in our carry on baggage for everything.) The relief was immense... but didn't last very long. 

We have been trying to sell dad's property in Canada for quite some time. Learned some truths along the way... Was often told that the assessed price of a property was just a number to base property taxes on and you'd make more money off the property. Myth! Was also told that property always gains value. Another myth! Was thinking how ironic it was that when mom and dad went to buy their new place, everything was sold out. They actually got lucky and got their place in a fire sale. Literally... the sale for their apartment fell through with the original buyer because he ended up with a fire on his property and couldn't buy the apartment. When mom and I walked through the showroom, we happened to overhear that a unit had come back on the market that morning. We swooped in and picked it up. (They had to move as mom had listed their large house for sale, knowing she couldn't manage it and dad with his disease.) So the apartment that everyone had to have back in it's marketing heyday... we could now hardly get rid of it. So many lookers, but no bites. 

In the process, we learned that there are further issues to deal with in the process of selling property once you've moved out of the country. That, complicated with the fact that dad cannot manage his own affairs, means more paperwork. Endless paperwork. Files to go through, copies to be made, emails to be sent, coordination of professionals in Canada and Australia. 

A while ago, I made a dramatic Facebook update saying that the next time I have a brilliant idea, such as moving an ill father overseas, talk me out of it.' Let me explain... the sheer volume of paperwork is threatening to drown me. I would have had enough to do, moving dad into care in Canada. Let alone moving him overseas and setting up a new life. 

I had the worst headache in my life last week... at some points, I had to cradle my head in my hands, the pain has been so great. Is it any wonder... I can't switch my brain off. It has been computing non-stop... running numbers, locating files, organizing, scheduling, over and over and over again. 

When yet another piece of mail arrived on my desk requesting more information... more gathering of information, copies, mailing... that I filed it in the 'Too Hard' pile. I've had enough of paperwork for the moment.  Because putting your head in the sand solves everything!

I stopped in at dad's last Friday afternoon, with some new clothes and a treat... thinking we could share it out in the garden in the sunshine. As I was signing the clothes in, a nurse found me. She said my name, I turned to her and I saw 'The Look.' Oh no. What now. I think those were my words. 

'Your dad has a chest infection. I've been meaning to call you. The doctor saw him yesterday and put him on antibiotics. I didn't want to worry you.'

Worry me?! Why not. It's what I do best. If I've learned anything out of this experience, it's to worry. Because that solves everything. 

The last time dad had a chest infection, he was at the hospital awaiting hip surgery. It was postponed while they waited for the infection to clear. We were told to expect the worst... that chest infections in Parkinson's patients can complicate things. I spent the day wandering around the city in a daze, wondering how people could go about their lives as ours continued to crumble. He pulled through that infection though ... and went on to have a successful surgery. So far he's managed with the antibiotics with this chest infection.  I plan on seeing him again tomorrow, so will see how he is faring.

And that is life with Parkinson's. 

Remembering May 2nd

It's hard to believe that four years have passed since we last celebrated mom's (mum's) birthday.  No doubt there are a few of you who have been remembering her today.  May was the month that was all about mom... birthday, then Mother's Day, then their anniversary.  I don't think I will ever get used to how quiet May is now.  I am thankful that we always marked family birthday's with at least a dinner and a birthday cake. 

Life should be celebrated.  Not just for birthday's, but every day.  I remember calling mom and asking her if she wanted to meet for lunch or coffee... before I had even finished asking the question, she would ask where!  Always when we were out, we'd have to get a treat, or have a cup of tea.  Indeed, we were always wondering where the next treat would be!  We have to at least take a moment in each day to enjoy life; whether it be a cup of tea, a walk in the sunshine, pause to read a few pages of something, sitting still and watching the world pass by. 

This is something I have been thinking about lately, and have been trying to take the time to really appreciate life, because it really does pass by so fast.  I cannot believe it is the beginning of May already!  We have been in Australia six months to the day.  I did not realize it would take so long to sort out dad's affairs.  There is still quite a bit left to do, but I think of how far we come, and how lucky we have been in many regards.  And isn't that something to celebrate!?

Lessons to Learn

Happy Monday morning... at least here in Sydney it is!  I came across this article on the Michael J Fox website the other day, so am sharing it here.  It is a gracious account of another family's experience with a father with Parkinson's and dementia.  It is very similar to dad's symptoms, and it explains it better than I can...

 “We can’t have the conversations others take for granted anymore, and he often says silly things. But when he does, we laugh about it together.” 

http://blog.michaeljfox.org/2012/04/learning-it-familys-journey-parkinsons-dementia/

Smile

I have been feeling a touch guilty about venting in yesterday's post.  But I guess that is the way life goes... some days you are up; some days not so much.

I was invited to dad's care home this evening for an "evening of entertainment".  Well, easy on the "evening"... some were nodding off fifteen minutes in!  In all seriousness... it was lovely to hear the choir sing around the piano  (and now I am using the word 'lovely'... so perhaps I should be selecting a bed as well?).  I got a teeny bit teary eyed when they sang "I Still Call Australia Home".  That song has always tugged at my heart strings, but never has it been so poignant as it is now.

Now, maybe I have been living under a rock... no, I know I have been!  I have never heard the song, Smile.  In a Google search, I see it has been covered by everyone from Nat King Cole to Michael Jackson.  They sang the song within a medley this evening and in listening to the lyrics, I thought the song quite timely.  In second thought, I do believe I have heard the song before, but I've never really listened to it.  So here are the lyrics... and here is me signing off with a smile ;)

Smile

Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile, if you just smile

That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

Life with Parkinson's Disease

Maybe I am the one with the problem.  Maybe other women could do this in their sleep.  Raise kids or run a successful business or promote world peace and take care of their sick father in their spare time.  I am having no such luck.  This past week; it feels like the bottom has blown out of the paper bag. As in... I was holding it together, but now the bottom has exploded and stuff has shot out everywhere.
The advice has always been, a day at a time... my poor brain is in such a state that that little gem is no longer helping.   I hardly know where to start, so I will try bullet points:

- Dad is now in a wheelchair, which obviously means he has to be pushed everywhere. The dementia has effected his brain in that his feet don't remain on the foot pegs,  or his arms drop over onto the wheels. So when pushing him along, every 10 steps or so, the chair will slow down. Invariably I've just dragged his foot 5 steps, or his arm has been dragging on a wheel. I have to stop, adjust and keep going again. Which is not as easy said as done. With Parkinson 's, you can tell the foot to move onto the foot rest, but the brain doesn't respond.  I have to end up adjusting him manually. Heading to the doctor's office one day, he dropped his feet inside a packed elevator. When the carriage reached our floor, both feet were off the foot rest and I could not move the chair.  I was struggling to get his feet back on the foot rests while trying to get him off the elevator as the doors were closing on us. I am sure there is something I could add to the foot rest so his feet don't drop off... add it to the list below.

- Patients in care homes receive general doctor's visits in house, but have to go to the specialist office for specialized care. Urologist, neurologist, optometrist etc. Often these offices have machines that you can't transport to a nursing home, so you have to transport the patient to the doctor's office. Which means organizing a wheelchair taxi and finding someone to accompany the patient. Since dad cannot communicate for himself, I'm the one to accompany him and speak on his behalf.  Since he has late-stage Parkinson's disease, the trips to the neurologist are plenty. Dad's glasses have gone missing, but I also know it has been a year since his last appointment, so there will be another visit to the optometrist. Just have to find one. Add that to the list.

- With the move, all the legal documents have to be revised to comply with Australian law. I found out last week that dad needs to be found in a sound state of mind to be able to sign these documents. Which means a referral to a neuro-pschycologist. Another doctor visit. Some institutions here have accepted the Canadian Power of Attorney, some do not. I need the POA to act on his behalf. I had filled out paperwork for Aged Care a few weeks back and filled in the section that appointed me the nominee of his behalf, with supporting documentation. In speaking to the Aged Care department the other day regarding another matter (another story), they told me I needed to be appointed as the nominee and directed me to the form on their website. More paperwork. I fear they are going to want the Australian Power of Attorney. Which I don't yet have as I need to visit the neuro-pcyscologist blah blah blah. Add it to the list.

- Also added to the list is filing for Canadian 2011 taxes, which is now complicated with resident and non-resident taxes. And now I have to find an accountant here to assist me with resident and non-resident filing. Add it to the list.

It is not hard to see from the above as to why I am feeling bogged down and not making any progress.  The list above details dad's care only. Then there is my whole mess to detail. I do not have a doctor/dentist/accountant of my own as there has not been time to sort out that. I have to find work immediately. I was looking for part-time office work so I can bring in a much needed income while managing dad's needs. I have been so busy with dad's affairs over the past week that I have barely been able to manage my own job search.  Seems to be everyone wants a part-time office job to tie themselves over. A job, a house, a car seems like a daydream these days.

There is more I could add, but I am bored! I should press on and be productive.  Another day of errands... another office to visit because their website does not work and I cannot get through on the phone.  The joys!

Follow Up

By no means do I profess to be an expert on health care. I've heard the praise and criticism for the medical systems in both Canada and Australia.  So far, I have very happy with the care dad has received in Australia. Dad has been to see the neurologist at the private hospital in Sydney; part which is covered and the other part he has to pay for.  In my opinion, dad is receiving more attention with his Parkinson's disease.  There are options which are overseen by the neurologist; which in Canada was dealt with by two departments.  There was no cohesion, plus it required double the visits.  Maybe it was just the situation at the time.  At any rate, the neurologist is on top of things now and we are seeing tiny results now.
About ten years ago, dad was working on a large home project out on the flats in Delta when he first noticed he was having a problem with saliva and swallowing. He knew something was wrong, but was unaware at the time that this was one of the first signs of Parkinson's. For years he carried around a handkerchief to deal with the issue; chewing gum sometimes helped as well. Looking back, the drooling became very bad, though I cannot quite remember when. When we were in the neurologist office the first time in Sydney, he offered Botox injections for the drooling. We had never heard of it before... and to find out there could be respite from this annoying Parkinson's side effect, well... it felt like a gift!

We had a follow up appointment to the Exelon patch last week, so dad was given the Botox injections in his jaw at that time. It takes about two days to 'take' and there should be some noticeable change in a week. It lasts approx 4 months. I was tempted to ask for a shot for the worry lines between my brows. Next time.
The Exelon patch seems to be giving some assistance in the memory department. The doctor asked about memory and I said dad seemed to be retaining a bit more information. He asked about the hallucinations... was dad still 'building things'? (See... it helps to chatter on about random things, as I am prone to do.) I paused a minute before realizing that dad hasn't been as wonky as he could be. Dad piped up and said, 'The hallucinations haven't been as bad, that's for sure.' (Huh? There he goes... following along when I least expect it!) Turns out that the reduced hallucinations are a good sign that the patch is working... and that it does help with the hallucinating... another pleasant result.

Post doctor visit... we walked down the street to have coffee and lunch at a cafe in Darlinghurst. Dad had a tissue in his hand and had offhandedly asked me to throw it out. I didn't really pay attention, thinking he still needed it.  As we walked past a garbage can, he fired the tissue into the side opening! I about fell over laughing! He had sat there in his chair, scouting out a trash can. Seeing one, he let go with his garbage! Bulls eye! He never ceases to surprise me!!