Hip Protectors

'Have you considered hip protectors for your dad?'

'Come again?'

'Hip protectors.' The Occupational Therapist proceeded to show me a pair of putty colored pants with foam saucers inserted in the fabric in the general area of the hips. I have heard of hip waders... but these are another sport entirely. She went on to say, 'The hip protectors protect the hips in a fall, because you don't want your dad to break a hip.'

Apparently dad has been very lucky that he has escaped hip injury in his falls. It is a major concern with the elderly ... this sport of breaking hips. I wanted to say that dad doesn't break hips. He breaks ribs, wrists and vertebrae quite well, thank you very much. (He's broken wrists and ribs ever since he was a young boy and replaced his bike handle bars with a steering wheel. The story involved a dog darting in front on the bike, an unmovable steering wheel and a fence, over which all three objects went sailing...)

Breaking hips. Really? Something else to worry about? And you know when i worry about something, it sometimes comes to pass!! We have a plane to board in 3.5 weeks. There had better not be any breaking of the hips in the meantime.

Back to putty colored hip protector pants... there's a huge, untapped market for seniors clothing. What's on offer is appalling. Take for example, the color options for the pant version of the hip protectors: Gray, Navy Blue, Putty and Camouflage. Those colors have never been on trend! Seniors haven't been seniors all their lives... why should they be left to dress in the most hideous of fabrics and colors in their golden years? Dad cut a dashing figure in a suit in his youth... and now his only option are Silly Putty pants in an awful polyester? With a shirt with Velcro closures? (We haven't gone there yet... I put my foot down! I told him if he's to hang out with me, he has to be presentable!) There's a huge, growing market for comfortable, easy, stylish, functional clothes for seniors and those with disabilities. Look for my spring 2012 collection, coming soon!

(Should you be curious as to what hip protectors are, click here for the link. Warning... they're very tempting!)