Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Taking Care of Business

Think of all the things you need to do in a day/a week as life management... grocery shop, make meals, ensure home is clean, clothes are clean/pressed/mended, banking/investing/paying bills, paying taxes, driving yourself to work/school/errands.  Now imagine you cannot do any of those things for yourself due to age, illness, injury.  Who is going to do those things for you?

Little did I know what I was signing when dad asked mom and I to go the Notary Public with him to sign papers for Power of Attorney.  It was a bright spring afternoon, and I can see my former carefree self meeting my parents at the Notary Public to sign the papers, and then skipping on with the rest of my day. I definitely did not consider the ramifications of signing those papers. (Not that I wouldn't - being the eldest, responsibility was drummed in from an early age.) I definitely did not foresee mom passing away and leaving me in the sole role of POA. That dads condition would deteriorate so quickly, leaving him in my full time care.

Which is precisely what happened. Dad swiftly turned into a full time job. When a family member is ill... they become top priority. Everything else takes second place. You find yourself trying to squeeze in time for yourself around the obligations. When I say 'time for yourself', I'm not talking about an afternoon at the spa or a day shopping - I'm talking about your career, continuing education, your own visits to a doctor or dentist (as if you want to go back to another doctors office), grocery shopping, making meals, the rest of your chores, time for friends...

One minute you are reminding your parent to pay their bills; the next, you know... you are managing two households.  Forget an afternoon at the spa... I think I need a month at Canyon Ranch just to recover!

Many people have written up a will, in event of their death... but how many have written up Power of Attorney (someone to represent you and act in your best interest legally) and Representation Agreement (someone to represent you and act in your best interest medically)?  Sometimes the unthinkable happens, and you live.  No one can predict the future and you cannot prepare for every eventuality.  (Though believe me, I wake up every night trying!) Just prepare for the worst and hope for the best.  Have faith and trust that the person you have appointed will do their best in your worst.  And no, I am not for hire.  I am busting off to a beach in the South Seas... Power of Attorney has to have some perks!

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