Good Samaritans

For all that Princess Diana did to sit among the sick, and talk to them like as nothing was wrong... our society still takes a wide step around the sick and lame. I know I did (do!). But having an ill father makes you stare at the disease in the face. Yes, he may be sick, but he's still human. He still enjoys the company of others, he still enjoys a good joke. He may not be able to follow a conversation, or remember what he was trying to say. But he remembers a lot of things. He remembers names in photos from 50 years ago... not sure I can remember names in photos from 10 years ago! He doesn't always speak clearly. I find though... if you have a little patience, and sit down and ask him a question he'll have an answer for you. But talk normally! Parkinson's may have given him a facial mask, but that's not to say he can't read facial queues! Oh no! He's always been gifted at reading people and if it's one thing he does pick up on, it's people being condescending to him. I hear about it afterwards and it actually makes me smile. His disease hasn't affected every ounce of his being!

Dad always had a keen sense of humor. Even now, he'll drop a line... but because he's hard to understand, or because I know him so well, other people don't understand ... yet I'm doubled over. Like someone recalling a story about him downsizing and him saying, 'Yeah, hard to fix it all into 6'.' they thought it the size of his container for Oz, but I knew immediately he was referencing the length of a coffin. Morbid sense of humor .... runs in the family!

How to treat someone who is ill? We'll all come across it sometime in life - if we're fortunate enough to avoid it ourselves. (There are so many things they can go wrong ... the human body is amazing in that it does function so perfectly.) Treat them normally, without condescension. Chat about the weather, news, family and friends. If you're still uncomfortable... gifts go a long way to helping someone feel cared for... a box of chocolates, a batch of cookies, a homemade meal, some flowers. A note attached saying you're thinking about them. Maybe a funny anecdote or quote you've read. Even gifts of service would be helpful... running errands, picking up milk, pick up some books from the library. The point is, it needn't be more than 5 or 10 minutes out of your day. Just think about someone else. I know I didn't give this much thought before dad got sick... but now I would like to think I've gained something from the experience. Don't just sit there, do something. We're humans.. we need to show a little humanity.