After my mom passed away, my aunt said to me, "You will sometimes wonder why there are bad people still left on the earth when you had to lose your mom, who was so good and kind." (Or words to that effect.) That is one thing I have learned in this experience, life is not fair. Bad things happen to good people, and good things happen to not so nice people. Perhaps it is a carry over from childhood... when we thought everything should be dealt out fairly. "It's not fair, his piece is bigger than mine." How many times were those words uttered, when we felt we were dealt the smaller piece of pie. (Invariably, "he" would lash out with his fork and take a further chunk of pie for himself, all the while saying, "You thought it was smaller before...")
We think that if we go through some sort of tribulation in life, there will be good things in store for us down the road. Perhaps this is the attitude of the entitilist generation. Throughout history, people have struggled and battled through life without palm trees on their own private island as a reward, or whatever their personal perceived uptopia may be. Life can be a battle and we manage the best that we can. (I realize this is deep... it's late at night!) There may or may not be utopia waiting around the next corner. We should count the blessings that we have and not expect any more.
These were the thoughts swirling around in my mind as I walked (stomped) the sidewalks of Sydney, on what I call a "Dad Day". Days solely devoted to running errands and odd jobs for dad. I was feeling pretty grumpy about having to spend another day doing dad stuff... banking, tax work, medical documents, and then shopping for more clothes (I used to giggle at men wandering in the women's department; now the joke is on me!) One could say that a lot of this work has to do with our settling into a new country, and if I didn't want the additional work, I could have stayed put. However, I was doing all this work in Canada too, so I say, whatever. (So mature!)
I realize I am having a bit of a whine... but it's my blog and I'll whine if I want to. This is life with a disabled family member and most days it is pretty lame. I long to have a 9-5 job and go off to work like a normal person. I hate answering the question, "What do you do for work?" ("I look after my dad, he's a full-time job, haha.) I have said it before... just because you are disabled, does not mean the work, chores, bills don't stop piling in. Someone has to do it, and if that someone can't be you, who will it be?
I know all this work will eventually be finished, I am not running these extensive errands in vain... though most of the time it feels like it. I suppose one day soon I am going to have to re-evaluate where I am in life. So maybe I should enjoy the "Dad Days" for now. It could be worse... it could be all about me. Maybe that won't be so easy to figure out!!!!!
Note: My (rather insightful) brother said to me today... "I suppose there are gumpy people, and then there are grumpy people who can laugh about being grumpy. You may as well have a laugh and find the humor in it, or else you're just a grumpy person."
No comments:
Post a Comment