The Longest Day

A little dragon came to see us off...

Send off crew

The men in my life

Dad's respite care - Rose Bay

Front of dad's "holiday villa" - we're still trying to figure out how to get him on the back of the Vespa!! ;)

Halloween... October 31, 2011

It started out as a somewhat normal day... I crawled out of bed, all the while wondering when it would be that I would get to crawl into a bed again.  (44 hours later as it turned out.)  First up was the rubbish removalist for the final push of junk.  Then off to do some shopping, and tie up some odds and ends.  Back at my place, I started to panic.  There was still so much stuff to get rid of, and there was no time left to do it in.  Some stuff went to a friend moving into her own place, some more went to another friend to be redistributed to charities, still more was left at my place to be distributed to more charities.  Slowly the time ticked away, and there was still much to do.  Recalled I had more paperwork to sign (which was fortunate), final items to pick up at the hospital and a dad to reassure, final errands to run, a car to clean and sell.  By the time it came to the final packing stage, I was so overwrought and about in tears.  All throughout the day, I was telling myself I was crazy and that it was not too late.  Add to that, teary farewells to all of my friends, and I thought I was well and truly mad.  A lot of work and little reward in view at that point.

Still so much to pack, I ended up grabbing a fifth bag. (In a stroke of luck... I ended up having to pay for my bike box at the airport, so the fifth bag ended up being the fourth bag... and since we were allowed two each, all I ended up paying for was the bike box @ $50.  In another stroke of luck... our tickets had been purchased prior to Air Canada changing their luggage policy from two checked bags to one checked bag and each additional bag costing an additional $70.)  I just stuffed stuff into that bag.  Then sat on bags, zipped zippers, tossed the rest into the garbage and was ready to depart.  My then... I was 5 minutes over my estimated departure time.  Lucky.

Off we went... five pieces of luggage to be checked, two carry on bags, plus two smaller ones as is the allotment.  A quick detour to the bank machine, and it was off to jail-break dad from the hospital!  I arrived at 5N for the last time.  As soon as I saw dad waiting in his wheelchair at the nurses station, I promptly burst into tears.  It was all too much for me.  Was also filled with this sense of dread, realizing he was my sole responsibility... across the Pacific Ocean no less! A quick debrief on dad's care on the plane, and we were off again.  Down the long, dark freeway to the airport... a very odd feeling to say goodbye to the place we have called home for over thirty years.  I have traveled a lot and have been gone for months at a time (such a world traveler!), but have never lived anywhere else but the Semiahmoo Penninsula in the most south western corner of BC.  No more time to reminisce, as by then we were at the airport; all our luggage and VIP passenger needed some attention.

Kudos to Air Canada for their customer care.  We checked in (and all our bits and pieces) at the customer care counter.  Felt very much like VIP as we checked through the handicap security and had a helping hand to the gate and were first on with priority boarding.  Dad was moved from airport wheelchair to airplane wheelchair (which is narrow enough to fit down the narrow aisle of the plane), and then into his aisle seat (which was his home for the next 14 hours).

We had a goodbye crew out to say farewell... thanks to all for coming to see us off.  It was lovely to see everyone and took the edge off some of the emotion for me.  (A relief from the thoughts in your head when you are laughing with friends!)

Because I then got to be alone with my thoughts for the next 14 hours... wondering the whole way what on earth I had done... was I mad????

We were fortunate enough to be traveling on the same plane with some family friends.  They were further down the back of the plane, but stopped by our seats every once in a while for a chat.  Was reassuring both to dad and myself... maybe more so for me as dad declined over the course of the flight.  He started off really well, choosing his midnight meal and eating it on his own.  He commented several times on the length of the flight.  I commented to him that Loren made that flight twice last year alone to come see us.  (Yes Loren, we were really appreciating your efforts in those moments.)

Dad did well on the flight for the most part... though there was some confusion.  Can you blame him though... from hanging out at the hospital for six weeks with no stimulation, to stimulation overload on the plane.  I was feeling ill and anxious at various points, without the addition of a disease.  He barely slept till the end of the journey, when I could hardly wake him.  Say... just like the hospital where he slept all day and was awake all night!

Landing in Sydney, we flew south over Cronulla (Loren's old hometown), and then banked over the National Park and headed north to the airport.  I had a gorgeous view of the cliffs plunging down into the ocean, and at that moment I knew that I had made the right decision.  The plane touched down at Kingsford Smith shortly after that and all I could think was that we were home.

By the end of the flight, dad could barely move, he was that exhausted.  We got him off the plane... and had a lovely, patient airport crew who stayed with dad in the electric wheelchair until we got out to Loren's car in the parking lot.  Not before we offloaded all that luggage!  Had the bike checked in quarantine (am I ever glad I scrubbed the wheels clean of Canadian debris... my bike is now safely on Australian soil!), luggage checked for foodstuff... and off to meet the Australian welcoming crew!

After bundling dad and half the gear into Loren's vehicle, I jumped into the other vehicle and off we went in a convoy down the road to respite care in Rose Bay.  Loren had set up the care on this end (thank you, thank you, thank you) ... and they were expecting us.  Dad went straight out of the car, into bed where he promptly fell asleep.  Well, not before he thanked me so much for everything I had done to get him there.  In that moment, the angst, grief, preparation, hard work of the last weeks, months and years has all been worth it.

We have arrived and are very happy to be settling in.  Already, my stress has been cut in half.  We still have a lot to do to get dad permanently settled... but he is now in the system and they are kindly taking care of him.  More soon... I now get to go visit my father who is in a care home just down the road from my brother in Rose Bay... whoever would have thought it!?